He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
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Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I could fuck to npr.
I am available for nakedness
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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