would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
