my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the day after is always just damage control
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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