Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
my liver is dry heaving
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
