but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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