6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
