please come you make the beer taste better
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
