I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
