Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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