If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
