I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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