Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We need to get me chipped asap
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
