I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
