This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize