i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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