I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
