I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
