I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
