I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
