my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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