it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
