i think i have herpe
just one?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
