is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
