Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
