if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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