She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's never too late to be topless.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
