just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
