some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
