think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
