I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
