yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She's the barista slut.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
