Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
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I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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