Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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