Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
