Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
