well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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