so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
and you fell through a lawn chair
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
