Tell her she can't have a vagina
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
