he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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