yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love having hate sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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