even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
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That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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