a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
