She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
