did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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