Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
