I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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