she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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