So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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