why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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