people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
