The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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