dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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