No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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