I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
