omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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