he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
