Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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