i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
