nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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