Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
